I've been bad bloggy.
I left you to starve over Christmas and dry out over New Year while I fine dined myself senseless and drank like it was going out of fashion, which technically it is as we reach the beginning out January.
The new year. The time where we buy jeans too small for us in the sale, we sign up to gym memberships we're to self concious to use and we start the DETOX!
Or be bang on trend like me and pick up what everyone else is getting, the BUG!
Why should I get it?
Well we stressed out over Christmas, we partied hard at new year and now our immune systems have crumbled under the weight like a fake Louboutin who's wearer has a high BMI.
What are the benefits?
Now is a good time to put all that 'layering' into practice. And it doesn't have to be chic and co-ordinated like the French, oh no! Layer up some Primark woolly tights under a pair of Topshop jeggings.
Thermals, vests, multiple jumpers are all good layering tools as well as hats and scarves which become acceptable indoors. However UGG boots are still morally wrong and will render you socially inept.
Tucking a Kleenex up you sleeve is also seen as cool in some social circles but my favourite accessory for this trend is to carry around a hot water bottle with you at all times. Refills can be found in local Cafes and coffee shops.
Other benefits are weight loss. On average you'll lose about half a pound a day.
Cabin fever, actual fever, runny nose, flaky skin, sore throat, shakes, sneezing fits, time off work, lack of social contact, flu medicine, aches, pains, you're skin rejecting foundation and exhaustion.
Is it Ethical?
Yes an no. Sadly the 'bug' will probably increase your carbon footprint as many people sporting this trend find they use more energy on central heating, running hot baths and boiling the kettle for copious amounts of Lemsip. The increased use of paper tissues also means your putting the rain forrest at risk.
On the up side illness is just natural selection, natures way of separating those who get trampled in the boxing day sales and those who come out heroic with their finds. It picks out the weak only leaving the strong. If you die then tough, better luck next time. And if you don't well done consider yourself through to round two.