(in true 90's SHOUT magazine style)
1. You are invited to a party, what do you wear?
A) A new dress courtesy of Daddies credit card
B) Something that hides the track marks
C) Pink hair and a bindi
D) Lacroix
2. Who is your ideal crush?
A) Well I was like totally in love with Christian but he dresses way better than me and now I think I love my step brother, eww!
B) Guys in plaid shirts, floral dresses and white sunglasses
C) My best friend
D) My dealer
3. What is your catch phrase?
A) “Dee, I’m Audi”
B) “I found my inner bitch and ran with her”
C) “This shit is bananas”
D) “Sweetie”
4. Finally, what do you want to be when you grow up?
A) Like a lawyer or something
B) Washed up
C) A Harajuku girl
D) In rehab
ANSWERS
Mostly A’s – You’re Cher from Clueless
Ditzy, blonde and spoilt yet somewhere is that tiny vacuous shell of yours there’s a heart of gold dressed Azzedine Alaia and Calvin Klein.
Mostly B’s – You’re Courtney Love
You’re self destructive white trash. Your daughter told you she didn’t “mind if you’re a junky or an alcoholic just so long as you’re not fat”. God help you.
Mostly C’s – You’re Gwen Stefani
Once upon a time you were the beautiful awkward tomboy in a ska band be all aspired to be. Today you are just another LA celeb who’s ego has been dislodged from its foundations and now surround yourself with little Japanese girls you’ve named LAMB, which stands for Look At My Bananas, not Love Angel Music Baby as you’d have us believe.
Mostly D’s – You’re Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous
You’re perfect weight is 2lbs above heart failure and your idea of a detox is a bottle of Russia’s finest vodka. You have an elusive career in ‘fashion’ and get laced at parties, in Eddie’s bathroom and generally anywhere.
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