Sunday, June 20, 2010


I need to figure out a way to rock shorts without the aid of two pairs of 80 denier black tights and four inch door wedges shuved under my heels. When did cleavage become an un-fashionable erongenous zone, eh? I blame idiots like Katie Price for making breasts into laughable orange objects straped to the font of womens chests like swim floats.

So why legs? I have knees that look like the faces of over fed sulky teenagers with bad skin. It's all about long, glowing, satin touch legs and, apparently, no breasts. I no longer am able to recall a time when I could "get away with" not wearing a bra. And why does everyone love loose razor back vests so much? I fucking deteste them, all they do is make my waist look the same width as my hips.

Fuck it. I'm bringing back hips and breast and teeny tiny waists cause that's all I got to go on.

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